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【BNRI-026】見えそで見えちゃう人妻チラリズム

Source global Wall Street Journal     time 2020-02-17 21:06:00
Typefacelarge in Small

【BNRI-026】見えそで見えちゃう人妻チラリズム �


Cliffordstoppedthechair,oncethroughthegate,andthemancamequickly,courteously,tocloseit.

Andasitspreadinhim,Conniefeltitspreadinher.Aninwarddread,anemptiness,anindifferencetoeverythinggraduallyspreadinhersoul.WhenCliffordwasroused,hecouldstilltalkbrilliantlyand,asitwere,commandthefuture:aswhen,inthewood,hetalkedaboutherhavingachild,andgivinganheirtoWragby.Butthedayafter,allthebrilliantwordsseemedlikedeadleaves,crumplingupandturningtopowder,meaningreallynothing,blownawayonanygustofwind.Theywerenottheleafywordsofaneffectivelife,youngwithenergyandbelongingtothetree.Theywerethehostsoffallenleavesofalifethatisineffectual.

Conniefellback,letthechairgoon.Thedayhadgreyedover;thesmallblueskythathadpoisedlowonitscircularrimsofhazewasclosedinagain,thelidwasdown,therewasarawcoldness.Itwasgoingtosnow.Allgrey,allgrey!theworldlookedwornout.

`Doesitmatterverymuch?Dothesethingsreallyaffectusverydeeply?...YouhadthatloverinGermany...whatisitnow?Nothingalmost.Itseemstomethatitisn'ttheselittleactsandlittleconnexionswemakeinourlivesthatmattersoverymuch.Theypassaway,andwherearethey?Where...Wherearethesnowsofyesteryear?...It'swhatenduresthroughone'slifethatmatters;myownlifematterstome,initslongcontinuanceanddevelopment.Butwhatdotheoccasionalconnexionsmatter?Andtheoccasionalsexualconnexionsespecially!Ifpeopledon'texaggeratethemridiculously,theypasslikethematingofbirds.Andsotheyshould.Whatdoesitmatter?It'sthelife-longcompanionshipthatmatters.It'sthelivingtogetherfromdaytoday,notthesleepingtogetheronceortwice.YouandIaremarried,nomatterwhathappenstous.Wehavethehabitofeachother.Andhabit,tomythinking,ismorevitalthananyoccasionalexcitement.Thelong,slow,enduringthing...that'swhatweliveby...nottheoccasionalspasmofanysort.Littlebylittle,livingtogether,twopeoplefallintoasortofunison,theyvibratesointricatelytooneanother.That'stherealsecretofmarriage,notsex;atleastnotthesimplefunctionofsex.YouandIareinterwoveninamarriage.Ifwesticktothatweoughttobeabletoarrangethissexthing,aswearrangegoingtothedentist;sincefatehasgivenusacheckmatephysicallythere.'

`Sothismanisalone?'

`Hewas.Buthiswifewentoffwith...withvariousmen...butfinallywithacollieratStacksGate,andIbelieveshe'slivingtherestill.'

Themanfacedlightlyround,andsalutedwithaquicklittlegesture,asoldier!

`Butyou'vebeenheresometime,haven'tyou?'Conniesaidtohim.

Therewasacertainpathos.Thewoodstillhadsomeofthemysteryofwild,oldEngland;butSirGeoffrey'scuttingsduringthewarhadgivenitablow.Howstillthetreeswere,withtheircrinkly,innumerabletwigsagainstthesky,andtheirgrey,obstinatetrunksrisingfromthebrownbracken!Howsafelythebirdsflittedamongthem!Andoncetherehadbeendeer,andarchers,andmonkspaddingalongonasses.Theplaceremembered,stillremembered.


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